I have been associated with an NGO partner for almost 10 years now. Initially, we funded them as part of Asha-Delhi project. But when our funds dried up, we found them new funding partners. I continued as the point person and have been visiting their project for many years now.
When we started, the children were in primary classes. I still remember the project director telling me that her realistic goal was to ensure that the children remain in school till class 12th. They focused on girls as they were the most vulnerable. There are many reasons why a girl will be pulled out of the school- there are younger siblings, the economic situation in the house, the mother needs her help with the household chores, and of course early marriage. So the goal was straight-forward. Let us ensure that the girls remain in school. The way to ensure it was to provide free tuition in the afternoon. It would also be a safe place for the girls to spend time.
There have been successes. The early batch of girls- 3 in number- have now graduated from school. One is working and studying. The others are studying. All the 3 have enrolled in Open University. We feel happy.
And then there are unexpected situations. Today, when I did the site visit, the director gave me the first bad news. One of the girls- she is in the 12th class- had been married off in the Summer. The family went to their village and there was a mass community marriage organized in the village. The lure the organizers dangled was that they would pay the dowry and bear the costs of the marriage. It was a good offer as the mother is the sole bread winner. She agreed and the daughter was married off. She has been pulled out of school and sent off to live with her in-laws. The entire visit I was haunted. Lot of publicity has been done about the evils of child marriage but the laws and the publicity have only limited impact. The family weighs in many factors- the safety the girl is paramount. What if she gets molested? What if some body kidnaps her? Wouldn't it be better if she is married off? Also, it would be one less mouth to feed. And then somebody is paying the dowry and bearing the cost of the marriage (I really wonder about these organizers! Did they bother to check whether the bride and groom were of legal age for marriage? Shouldn't they be held culpable?). So child marriage continues. I have no clue how to deal with this issue? Of course, the girl could have protested. The media reports at least one such case every day where the girl refused marriage. A student of mine, I am really proud of her, told me that she fought with her Uncles when they were planning to get their daughters married. She got her cousins to Delhi and got them educated on her Ph.D. fellowship. How many such girls exist? How do we raise them? How do we teach the girls coming to the tuition centers to protest if their parents force them into early marriage. Of course, the NGO has done plays with them, talked about these issues but theory and practice are entirely two different entities.
The second bad news was about a girl who was kidnapped by her neighbour and molested. Fortunately, her parents were able to recover her back. But she has now dropped out of school. She comes to the center but she is traumatized and scared.
As the girls grow up and as we add boys to the mix (the center has now expanded their attention to the boys too and I am culpable for it. I felt that the boys too needed attention and badgered them into opening their centers to the boys also), I wonder how do we handle this explosive mix. The media, the freely available internet has ensured that the world is no longer as innocent as we thought. So now we are facing unanticipated problems and charting a path that we have no clue how to navigate.
When we started, the children were in primary classes. I still remember the project director telling me that her realistic goal was to ensure that the children remain in school till class 12th. They focused on girls as they were the most vulnerable. There are many reasons why a girl will be pulled out of the school- there are younger siblings, the economic situation in the house, the mother needs her help with the household chores, and of course early marriage. So the goal was straight-forward. Let us ensure that the girls remain in school. The way to ensure it was to provide free tuition in the afternoon. It would also be a safe place for the girls to spend time.
There have been successes. The early batch of girls- 3 in number- have now graduated from school. One is working and studying. The others are studying. All the 3 have enrolled in Open University. We feel happy.
And then there are unexpected situations. Today, when I did the site visit, the director gave me the first bad news. One of the girls- she is in the 12th class- had been married off in the Summer. The family went to their village and there was a mass community marriage organized in the village. The lure the organizers dangled was that they would pay the dowry and bear the costs of the marriage. It was a good offer as the mother is the sole bread winner. She agreed and the daughter was married off. She has been pulled out of school and sent off to live with her in-laws. The entire visit I was haunted. Lot of publicity has been done about the evils of child marriage but the laws and the publicity have only limited impact. The family weighs in many factors- the safety the girl is paramount. What if she gets molested? What if some body kidnaps her? Wouldn't it be better if she is married off? Also, it would be one less mouth to feed. And then somebody is paying the dowry and bearing the cost of the marriage (I really wonder about these organizers! Did they bother to check whether the bride and groom were of legal age for marriage? Shouldn't they be held culpable?). So child marriage continues. I have no clue how to deal with this issue? Of course, the girl could have protested. The media reports at least one such case every day where the girl refused marriage. A student of mine, I am really proud of her, told me that she fought with her Uncles when they were planning to get their daughters married. She got her cousins to Delhi and got them educated on her Ph.D. fellowship. How many such girls exist? How do we raise them? How do we teach the girls coming to the tuition centers to protest if their parents force them into early marriage. Of course, the NGO has done plays with them, talked about these issues but theory and practice are entirely two different entities.
The second bad news was about a girl who was kidnapped by her neighbour and molested. Fortunately, her parents were able to recover her back. But she has now dropped out of school. She comes to the center but she is traumatized and scared.
As the girls grow up and as we add boys to the mix (the center has now expanded their attention to the boys too and I am culpable for it. I felt that the boys too needed attention and badgered them into opening their centers to the boys also), I wonder how do we handle this explosive mix. The media, the freely available internet has ensured that the world is no longer as innocent as we thought. So now we are facing unanticipated problems and charting a path that we have no clue how to navigate.
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